It's hard to believe only a year ago I truly took my first steps in the world of EdTech. I'm blessed that my learning curve has been steep and fast and I've had the opportunity to interact with some amazing educators here in Singapore and throughout Asia. I have a lot of things I want to achieve in my educational journey. I'm only in the beginning steps of that path but I just managed to check another wish off my list but it came at the cost of the case of some serious nerves.
This past weekend I attended the EdTechTeam Singapore Summit featuring Google Apps. I had attended the conference last year as a complete rookie to the EdTech world where I soaked up every once I could and quite frankly my brain was fried by Sunday at 5pm.
But this year was different, this year I was co-presenting one of the workshops with a colleague of mine. As a new educator, I have so much to learn from those who came into this profession beforehand. So taking the stage to share my own experiences completely terrified me. I am no better than anyone else and in my mind not doing anything remarkably noteworthy compared to the other educators who simply care about their students and want to make a difference for their kiddos. From that standpoint, I never thought I would be at the point where I had something anyone would ever want to hear.
Yet, when one day as I was in the tech office trying to solve a completely unrelated problem, I struck up a conversation with our Primary EdTech Coach about the conference. He told me he was presenting and for whatever reason, I asked if they were still looking for presenters. Somehow we got to the point where he suggested I present with him our e-portfolios. Bam - hooked in and too late to back out. (In hindsight, awesome choice!)
Preparing the presentation itself came pretty easy to me when I knew what I was talking about was just everyday practice to me and my students. Perhaps my time management on the actual prep work could be adjusted in the future to eliminate some nerves but the fact is it was ready for action when it needed to be. We had many successes and challenges with the portfolios last year and all I really had to do when it came down to it was to be honest and speak from the heart.
On the day of my presentation, my colleagues asked if I was going to be okay. I clearly looked like I was going to be doing the scariest thing in my life as I entered the school cafeteria for morning coffee. But somehow I managed to get it together. I am so appreciative of all of my colleagues who were the most supportive group of individuals I could have asked for during this event for me. Many asked if I wanted them in the audience cheering me on. While thoughtful, sweet and super caring, no I did not want them there. Having anyone from our school sitting there smiling back at me was not what I wanted or needed. I would only get more nervous in front of the people I work with every day, presenting the work we all do in our classrooms. In my mind, presenting in front of complete strangers was the best method - even though my colleagues promised loud cheers, banners and signs if I let them come. They did make sure to congratulate me and make me feel so special afterwards too. It's a wonderful feeling to know that if you stumble in your school you've got people to help you back up. I even had one friend make sure I got something special to have in my class to remember the occasion by. This also excited my students this morning and they told me I was a real risk-taker and asked if they could give teachers merits too.
I stood up at the front of the room about 15 minutes before it started with my co-presenter and looked out. 3 people there so far - well, at least I wouldn't mess up and embarrass myself in front of too many people. Unfortunately, we had a bigger crowd than that with each passing minute until it was time to start and there was a good size audience in the room. My co-presenter started off the presentation with the philosophy of the e-portfolios and I just stood there waiting my turn, jittery, and trying to remember to smile.
"And now I'll turn it over to my colleague, Emily." Darn! That's my cue. Okay, breathe, smile, breathe again, say something. And so it began. Honestly, for not really practising what I wanted to say, the words for the most part just rolled off the tongue. It's easy for me to talk about my students and what we do together in our classroom. I ooze pride when I talk about my kiddos - they change the way I think and make me a better teacher and person every day.
One of my favourite parts was just being able to have questions and answers with individuals in the audience. Like I said, I'm no expert, so sharing ideas and experiences allows us to grow together.
An interesting thing I took away from the weekend that was unintended learning was my attention to detail about how others constructed their workshops and keynotes. I found myself analysing the presenters thinking why did this work and why do I feel that part could be done differently (nothing against any presenters). I found myself viewing the presentations less about content and more about structure, flow and connection. Perhaps I did not take away as much EdTech learning as I did last year (though still many new ideas) because of this unintended focus, I still feel like the knowledge I gained will help me propel myself forward.
Secretly (or not so secretly), this was a huge day for me. My first real conference and one featuring Google Apps for Education in a country where EdTech is top notch? I mean, come on, excitement over this accomplishment doesn't even begin to describe how I felt. I kind of felt like I kid again when I Skyped my dad the next day sharing the experience and hearing how proud he was of me.
Would I do it again? Yes. Will it always bring out my nerves? Absolutely. I've already had a friend at another school make a pact to both do a presentation in October (thankfully this one can be much much shorter!) But I guess I realised was that I actually do have a voice in the education world. We all do. Teachers want to hear what other teachers are doing. It's okay that your voice is quiet and maybe not being heard by many but just like with my students, if I can make a difference to one, then that's a great thing I've done.